Rizpah

Safer than a Babe in it’s Mamas arms,

2010-03-09T04:26:00.000-08:00

I lie in Yours, O Lord,
Softer to my ears than her singing,
is the flood of Your promises.
I'm soothed by Your love.

My heart, so open and raw, breaking.
And I cry in Your arms,
Begging for you to hold me,
And your peace numbs the pain,
Erases it from my soul.
And You,
comfort me.

In Your presence, I rest,
Like a babe in it’s mamas arms.

Lord, I love that You...

2009-07-22T22:54:00.001-07:00

..Died for me while I was a sinner.

I love that You hold me

whenever I cry.

I love that Your presence is the only thing that soothes me,

whenever life's storms seems

too frightful to bear.

I love how You hold my heart in Your hands, that whenever it's bleeding You're

closer than close.

I can't help to love this ache that I feel,

knowing the fullness You'll bring when it comes.

I love that You guide me

each step of the way,

lovingly,

tenderly,

though often with warning.

Oh, papa, stay with me the rest of my life. That I might abide,

in You at all times.

Finally Safe...

2009-05-08T00:54:00.000-07:00

Is it not amazing, Lord, that I finally know You?
Finally know what it means to be Saved.
Saved in the three, believeing the fourth,
saved from the penalty, pleasure and power
of sin

And trusting faithfully in the hope to at last be free of it's presence?

Isn't it a wonder, that suddenly I know.
Know what it means to be saved by grace,
through faith.

And finally that I understand, it's a gift from You,
and not at all of myself.

Finally able, Lord, to remove the wrapper and receive You in all Your glory?
Finally Abba, what a relief it must be
to Your Holy heart that I am Yours,
and the Devil is finally powerless
in taking my life back under his control.

My God, My Holy One,
how You must have longed for this day.
How you must cherish it, even more than I do.

My Prince of Peace,
Wonderful Counselor,
Mighty God,
How Beautiful You are!

My Lord, My Redeemer

2009-04-24T11:54:00.000-07:00

As much as You are my redeemer from the penalty of sin, Lord,

You are my redeemer from it's power.

Inasmuch as You are my Lord, God, the Devil is it not.

And just as You call me, gently each day to follow You, do Your Will, to love You,

the Devil cannot call on me.

Such as I am Your Slave, Lord, and my life is Yours,

it is no more the Devils,

no more under the rule of fleshly demands,

no more under the power or calling of sin.

No more, Lord,

for I am Yours,

bought with a price, the price which was Your life.

Sweet Lord, who bought me to set me free:

I want nothing else than to be Your slave.

All the days of my life.

My Everything...

2009-04-09T01:23:00.000-07:00

Lord,

My life is in your hands.

All decitions I have given to you, everything, all that I am.

I do not know where this road will lead me.

To be honest, Abba, I do not even know if I'm walking. Sometimes I think I'm just floating, my youth renewed like the Eagles.

It's certainly not my strenght, Lord, that uphold me.

It's certainly not my heart thinking loving thoughts of others.

It's certainly not my beauty that shines through.

Father, Beloved, it is all You.

I sometimes think I feel your plans,

not with emotions fluctuating as they are, Lord, but like a sense of the Spirit, and I think I know... just for a second part of your plan.

Then I am reminded again, of my childlikeness,

that I think I see, though only in the eyes of a child.

You see it all so much clearer, Papa. And when I guess, You know.

Therefore I lay down all I am, everything I cherish and hold dear, all I want and dream to pursue, and leave it in Your hands. Far better a steward of it are You, Lord, of my life, than I could ever be.

Far bigger plans have You, Lord, which of I could never dream. My mind and heart are not able to form such thoughts, so perfect and loving-kind as Yours.

Your beautiful Plan, Lord, Your precious, lovable Will.

My Beloved one, let Your Will be done.

Never mind my whining and frustration,

never mind my distrust and my fear.

Thy Will be done, Father. You lead my steps, relieve my fears, gain my trust.

I am Yours and I will go through it all if You want me to.

A Loving Command

2008-09-23T13:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was reading in the Gospel of Luke.

As I read through chapter 6, verse 30 stood out to me.

Give to everyone who asks you,

and if anyone takes what belongs to you,

do not demand it back.

I've read the Gospel of Luke before, I'm sure I've read this excact verse before.

Yet, the calling in it never actually struck me before yesterday:

Give to ALL who asks you.

That's quite radicallly, isn't it? To all, I mean everytime a beggar on the street ask you for money. Should you really give them all something? If someone ask for your help, and you have the possibility to help them, but don't really feel like it. Do you still have to help? And the second calling:

If anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.

That's also quite radically. I mean, who wouldn't demand it back if someone took something that was ours? I'm sure I would. Until yesterday.

It's so easy just to read, and then forget that many of the verses in the Bible contains a calling for us.

A calling from our loving Prince and Creator.

A calling that we should in loving obedience respond to.
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Give to everyone who asks you,

and if anyone takes what belongs to you,

do not demand it back.

I wish I could ignore it.

At least a little, cause this lies out of my comfort zone.

But I can't ignore it.

It's Jesus very words. It's His loving command, and my calling.

I can't ignore it. Can you?

Your sister in Christ,

Rizpah

Scripture Ponderings ; Proverbs 15

2008-09-16T14:46:00.000-07:00

I read and pondered chapter 15 of the book of Proverbs in the Bible the other day,
and these are the
thoughts that crossed my mind.
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(All Bible Quotes are from The Living Bible)
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Pondering about womanhood/femininity/modesty, these verses caught my attention:
Verse 1: A soft answer turns away wreath. Remember that the way I speak matters to God.
Verse 33: Humility and reverence for the Lord will make you both wise and honoured.
Verse 4: Gentle words cause life and health. Remember that speaking is a way to do good.
Verse 8: The Lord (…) loves those who try to be good. A vocation
Verse 6: There is a treasure in being good. A vocation
Verse 13: A happy face means a glad heart. Remember that my facial expression reveals to others how I feel and what God is in my life (it’s allowed to look gloomy, if you’re sad, by all means! I know that some people struggle with an expectation to always be cheerful).
Verse 16: Better a little with reverence for God I shall not strive after posessions but after reverence for the Lord.
Verse 26: The Lord (…) delights in kind words. A vocation
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Pondering about what to look for to find (and encourage) Christlike manhood:
Verse 5: A wise son considers each suggestion [of his father’s advice]. Look for the way a young man treats his father’s advices.
Verse 18: A cool tempered man tries to stop [figths]. A peacemaker is in the service of the Lord.
Verse 19: The good man’s path is easy.
Verse 15: When [a man] is cheerful, everything seems right. Cheerfulness is an emotion you can choose, and by it make your days easier, therefore it’s a good thing.
Verse 20: A sensible son gladdens his father. Look for sensibility, but remember sense.
Verse 21 b: The sensible stay on the pathways of right. An indicator of sensibility; is he on the pathways of right?
Verse 14: A wise man is hungry for truth, while the mocker feeds on trash. Is he hungry for the truth?
Verse 13: A happy face means a glad heart. What is a glad heart if not a heart filled with love for God?
Verse 28: A good man thinks before he speaks. Important sign.
Verse 33: Humility and reverence for the Lord will make you both wise and honoured.
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Pondering about life:
Verse 2: A wise teacher makes learning a joy, whenever I’m in need of learning something to someone, be it a child, siblings, students or whatever, I try to remember that I am wise to make learning a joy.
Verse 7: Only the good can give good advice, I try not to take advices from people who are not “good” (who doesn’t follow God or base their life upon Him as I strive to do).
Verse 22: Plans go wrong with too few counselors; Many counselors bring success. It’s God’s word, what more can I say?
Verse 27: Dishonest money brings grief to all the family. No matter how tempting it is to not tell that you’ve gotten to much money in change, or in your vage or in any way. Even if someone give them to you, but for the wrong reasons. Resist. It will bring grief to all of your family.
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Pondering about my life:
Verse 12: A mocker stays away from wise men because he hates to be scolded. I confess I hate to be scolded, but I know I shouldn’t run away from it when I deserve it. I don’t want to be a mocker in God’s opinion.
Verse 21 a: If a man enjoys folly, something is wrong! When I enjoy movies and magazines and conversations that focus on folly and not on truth (who’s the Truth?) something really is wrong.
Verse 31,32: To reject critisism is to harm yourself and your best interests. Oh yes, I do hate it, but who would want to harm themselves and their best interests?
Verse 14: A wise man is hungry for truth, while the mocker feeds on trash. Feeds on trash; oh yes, I do that often. I feed on movies displaying premarital sex, cheating, lying and sinning against God as beauty, I feed on magazines telling me I can get whatever I want if I just trust myself. Isn’t that trash? I’d say so.

Please mark that all of the verses are not written, the context is missing on many, so for a full understanding; look them up in your Bible. The Scriptures end were the bold writing ends.
And also: These are my personal thoughts and ponderings, please read it wisely.

Your sister in Christ,
Rizpah

Whenever my Heart Panics

2008-09-16T14:45:00.000-07:00

I thank You, Lord,
for holding all my loved ones in Your mighty hand.
Whenever worry strikes me,
whenever my heart panics in the thought of loosing them,
whenever I am about to burst out in tears because I cannot keep them from danger,
whenever fear sting my heart and threathens to overwhelm me,
You remind me that You are Lord.
You hold them in Your hand, and suddenly I realise;
they’re safe.
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I love them Lord;
my family,
my father,
my mother,
my sister,
my brother,
my friends.
And I pray for them, and I miss them.
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But You are Lord.
You will provide them with whatever they need,
as You do me.
You know their every need,
as You do mine.
You are able to fulfill their every need or longing,
as You do mine.
And You,
*love* them,
As You *love* me.

I thank You. I love You.
~Rizpah~

Facing Hardship

2008-09-14T14:03:00.000-07:00

I’m just popping back in again, sixteen minutes after my last post to write something I’ve been thinking about lately:
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I often think that I really want others to see that I am different. I know I have something special in being a follower of Christ, and I want others to see it and become interested in Christ. I want to glorify God in the way I handle tough situations. It’s easy to represent Him well when everything is as it should be. Even unbelievers often act with integrity and with peace then. It’s when hard times come that you see what people are made of (or in Whom they have their strength). It is in the really tough situations that unbelievers are touched by the peace Christians show. That is when they say;
What does she have? What gives him the strength to hold on?
It is in the tough situations we find the greatest testemonies with the greatest impacts on others.
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I’ve always wanted to be this kind of a witness, who clings to God through whatever may come, and I often pray to be so. Still, I seldom recognize the core of this prayer:
Lord, let me face hardship.
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It is not possible to be a witness of peace in tough times unless you face these tough times. It is so easy to say: God, why is this happening to me now. I had a great life yesterday!
We do not think about the fact that *this* is an answer to prayer.
*This* is our great chance to show who Christ is through our lives: His peace and fulfillment isn't restricted to the sunny days of life, but He is there also when we face hard times.
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Just a thought.
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Peace be with you,Rizpah

A Longing for Fellowship

2008-09-14T13:12:00.000-07:00

It’s strange how you could live a lifetime without something and never miss it, and then, by merely tasting the sweetness of it, life suddenly seems dull and tasteless without it. It is so with people, it is so with love, it is sometimes so with sin, it is so with salvation and freedom. With God. For me, right now, it’s so with fellowship.
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I miss fellowship. It is a deep longing in my heart. A longing I have trusted God to fulfill, and that I know He will. But while He is silent my longing remains. And grow.
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I know no other people around here believing in God as I do. I know no people believing that the Christian life is more than going to mass and say a prayer once in a while.
I have no one to pray with, to speak of faith and God with, no one to worship together with, none to study Scripture with. I feel alone.
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I lived my life with God for many years without any fellowship at all. I didn’t need it. People spoke of it’s importance and I didn’t understand it. I said I needed God, and God alone. They spoke of the necessity of going regulary in a churh, belonging to a congregation and keep to them like family. I wasn’t really used to it, and I didn’t know which congregation to choose. And for a while, I was so disappointed in one church that I refused even to go to any meetings. I delayed.
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But as God softly continued to speak to me, tugging at my heart, whisper gently to me I came to see the importance. I didn’t feel it was necessary. But it was clear that God thought it necessary. How could I say He was wrong? I could scoff at all others, ignore the truth of their plead and refuse to listen. But I could not ignore Him. I couldn’t refuse His truth.
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I started belonging, not just to Him, but also to my family in Him. And a new world opened to me. I began to long to see “my new family”, I began to cherish the opportunity to meet with others with similar beliefs as me, I began to enjoy to pray with and for them, to worship together with them, to speak with them of life and faith and God. I learned a lot and it meant much to me.
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When I first came to know that God was calling me here, I started praying and asked my friends to pray for a church for me here. A church with people believing in Him, people basing their life upon Him and Him alone.
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I haven’t found one yet, but I am confident that God will provide me with that also. After all, He has not left me nor forsaken me. I belong to Him, He is able to provide and fulfill my every need. And I believe He will. I trust Him.
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My heart feels as if it is about to perish with longing for anything, oh just one person I can see and speak to and pray with. One person loving the Lord as I do.
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Last night I got to know I was able to get to church today. I cried, it really means this much to me. Even if, when I went today, I understood almost nothing, knew not what to do and was unfamiliar with both hymns and their prayer book, it was beautiful. It was the presence of God, together with people seeking Him. I was disappointed, that is true. It was unlike a family. When the service was over, everybody ran out into the rain back into their cars and left. I mean, it’s a bit like at home. I’m familiar with this unfamiliarity.
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When we were in the States and had lost a friends library card, we could explain our relationship, to the library,with her with “we’re in the same church”. I mean, there it meant something. The congregation gathered after church for coffee and bisquits downstairs, talking, singing when someone had a birthday. They arranged study groups and did things together as a congregation, a family. In our church in Norway, you’d hardly know who went there, and even if you knew they were members of your church, you wouldn’t actually know them. Very little like family, I’d say. It’s not at all what Paul writes about in his epistles in Scripture. What he describes, is what I long for. Fellowship, family. Feel that you are a part of something, meeting people with the same convictions as you, young or old. Being able to talk deeply about God and spiritual matters, pray together and for eachother. Serve eachother. Learn and grow in faith together. Encourage eachother and build eachother up. Love eachother.
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“By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
John 13:35
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I long for it, and thirst after it. It occupies my mind. Sensing the loss makes me feel lonely and discouraged.
Yet, I know that I can praise the Lord:

For He is holding back this desire of mine for a reason, He has a better way,
A better timing.
And He sees clearly, though I do not, that this is not a good time for me to have my longing fulfilled.
He has something far better in store for me.
I need Him, and Him alone.
He knows what I need, I need this time alone with Him.
I need this waiting, I need the patience it will grow in me.

And I need to say this, aloud, to believe it: I trust you, Lord. Your way is best.

His Wondrous Love

2008-09-13T16:59:00.000-07:00

I know I might should have finished this yesterday. But still, I can’t help it, at this moment of my life, and as far as I can see down the road, the words “I belong” is the most beautiful statement my heart have ever recognized.
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I belong to Him,
the claim upon my life and heart is His,
whatever happens, whatever I go through, whatever doubt I might feel, whatever fear might threathen to overwhelm me, this remains:
I belong to the Lord, and He will have His way in me.
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In everything I might go through, I know He is in charge, I am never for one moment of my life at the mercy of chance. Whatever I go through, I know it has all been sifted through His loving hands first. He has allowed this to happen to me for a reason, He knows what I need.
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I have prayed so many times:
Let Your will happen, whatever the consequences may be. Have Your way in me, prove Your glory to the world, and use me, however You want to.
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I meant what I prayed, even if I might not have grasped the full meaning of my prayer. I pleaded, whatever the cost, because I knew His ways were higher than mine, and that He knew my best better than I. And when this “whatever the cost” came, I couldn’t wince and cry: Lord, why do You allow this to happen? He is in charge, and He lets all thing work together for His good will, by and for those who according to His good will is called.
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I have never asked that I may be in charge. I have asked that He be in charge in my life, because I know that He is in fact already in charge of the entire universe. I belong to Him. He have not abandoned me, nor forsaken me. I am so very dear to Him. I will not doubt this.
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When I a couple of months ago struggled with fatigue over several months, I knew that He was in that also, He was pursuing His plan in my life, His plan that was bigger than I could fathom. And even as I was scared, and cried. He did never for a second abandon me. My hardship didn’t mean abandonment, it meant love. Whatever the cost.
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I prayed for a heart that would trust His wisdom and love, and it really rose from the ashes of my decease. And as He healed me and guided me gently back to my life and the new life of trusting Him, I was able to walk a new path. His plan was so perfect, so difficult to understand those months I in periods lacked the strength to do even the simplest things, like walking and lift my hands. But when I now look back, I see His Heavenly guidance through it all. When He tore down everything my life consisted of, He burned the weed, so that the true seed could grow in the ashes. And that is what is happening. My trust and faith in Him have risen from the ashes as He so gently planned. And from the bare foundation of defeat, He has transformed and continues each and every day to transform me into the woman He have planned for me to be.
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I do not know His plan from here on. I have no clue of what might face me further down the road, but this I know:
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Whatever it is, He has sifted it through His loving hands first, He has allowed it for a reason.
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Whatever it is, it is what He knows I need, He is in charge of it, I am not at the mercy of chance.
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Whatever it His, He will work it together to good. He will have His way in me.
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And when I know this,
this is all that matters: I belong to Him.

I Belong

2008-09-12T12:09:00.000-07:00

Not angels, nor demons, no power on earth or heaven

Not distance, nor danger, no trouble now or ever

**************~~~*************

Pre Chorus

Nothing can take me from your great love

Forever this truth remains

*************~~~*************

Chorus

I belong, I belong to you

************~~~*************

Verse 2

Not hardship, nor hunger, no pain or depth of sorrow

Not weakness, nor failure, no broken dream or promise

Kathryn Scott.

I belong.

What endless soothing lies within those two words. Whatever happens to me, come what may, I am His and nothing can ever take me away from His claim upon me.

I belong.

What enourmous relief in their potential, I do not have to carry my burdens alone, I belong, and He whom I belong to will carry them with me.

I belong.

What an everlasting calling within them. I am not mine, my life is not mine, my choices are not mine: they belong to whom I belong.

I belong to God.

You are My Deepest Desire

2008-08-25T00:10:00.000-07:00

My Beautiful Lord and Sweet Redeemer,
I trust You with my life,
I trust You with my love,
I trust You with everyone I hold dear.
You have prooved a hundred times over that You are worthy of my trust.

I follow You, Lord, even when You ask me to leave,
to leave everything known and dear to me,
even my sister which I love more than anything in this world.
Lord, You are my deepest love, my deepest desire.
You are not at all my only desire, but You are my deepest desire.
And in this Desire, to know You, to love You, more than anything else,
I let all these other desires go.

I trust You to keep me Lord,
I trust You to be my every joy,
to heal my every pain.
And I am confident that You will.
simply because You've said so.
And You've prooved a hundred times worthy of my trust.

Your Plan is Greater than mine,
I see only the mist, but You see it all in bright daylight.
So I trust You to look for me, and tell me which way I should go
At Your feet I will rest.
Towards Your cross I will walk.

Beautiful Jesus, I will look at You only.

I found out that there was more to live for than I ever dreamed of

2008-08-22T13:07:00.000-07:00

“In Him we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28).
This means, simply, God is our home” *

~so what am I to say but, home sweet home? Beautiful Jesus.

I'm going home.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gakF1C62u0w

*Quote taken from Amy Carmichael, Edges of His Ways

The Loss of My Dearest Property

2008-07-28T19:07:00.000-07:00

I'm visiting Chicago these days.
Sunday while I was in Church, my sister's bag was stolen.

In the bag was my Bible. I didn't know it was so dear to me that I'd cry when loosing it. But it was.
It's the one thing in my life I need the most. Not because it's a book. It's more than a book.

It is the living,

life changing,

peace restoring,

strength giving,

never failing,

joy restoring Word of God.

Even if I am very sorry for loosing my Bible, what's happened is a blessing to me. A blessing because it was an answer to my prayer to love the Word of God.

I've wanted deeply to be addicted to it,

to believe it,

to cherish reading it,

to be drawing my strength from it.

Please pray for the new owner of my Bible, he needs prayers very much, and God loves him just as much as He loves me. I am nothing better than he (or she) who stole my things, because I am just as much a sinner. I was, I am and I will continue to be a sinner for as long as I live. I am only righteous through God's grace. And I am blessed through this loss, because it led me closer to God. It doesn't mean that stealing my sister's bag was a good thing to do. It simply means that God turned evil into blessing.

What a beautiful God I serve!

He knows my every need, He hears my hearts every sigh.

He provides my everything,

He let me die to sin and raise to a new life in Him,

a life in which the blessings are many.

I got a new Bible from the church I was in. Another blessing.

Praise The Lord.

The Name of a Hot Stone

2008-07-20T20:31:00.000-07:00

I have been praying for almost half a year to find where The Lord wanted me go after finishing school and what He wanted me to do.

He answered me just a few weeks ago, and after that, things have went so fast and worked out so well that I stand puzzled and amazed back, shaking my head in wonder.

I'm going to be an au pair in Ireland.

I have never been to the country before and even if I speak English fluently my name is unpronounceable in English. People rarely understand it's a name at all.

So I was sitting in the backseat of car, thinking about what on Earth I was going to call myself next year.

I was just about to pray that The Lord would give me a name, when He did.

Rizpah.

I knew it was a Biblical name, so I sat down on the computer later, to try to look up it's meaning.

Rizpah is Hebrew, meaning coal or hot stone.

I remember leaning my head back asking: Lord, why did you give me the name of a hot stone?

He didn't answer right away, but later when I sat by myself on the coach in the living room, I understood why:

Coal is the material which after many years and hard pressure turns into a diamond.

Oh Lord, I thank you that you have given me a name that promises that you will continue the good work you have started in me! You are my peace, my joy and my strenght. I know you will guide me.

Peace be with all of you

Your sister in Christ,

Rizpah